Bobsession: Cheap Imitation Perfume

The only time I've worn expensive scents is breezing through Duty Free at an airport, or from a limited edition press sample that accidentally fell on my former desk. I'm not one of these people that will take a sniff and go "ooh, who is wearing Issey Miyake?" (though thanks to ex boyfriends I can identify this one and Clinique Happy). My olfactory skills - well, they stink.

It's little wonder then, that I have one of my mini fascinations with knock-off perfumes. I actually like the fact that they're weak and you don't smell of them 48 hours later, that they only hit your nose and not the back of your throat. Take the above bottle, Succulent. A perfect example of innovative packaging, where in the act of ripping off a DKNY apple, it's created something more interesting than the original. More fun, more cartoony, more shiny... and it cost £1.99 from a discount shop in Dalston. I'm saving up for their Paco Rabanne 1 Million pastiche, the next one for my collection. The smell is nondescript, but fresh, like clean linen. I have a very poor parody of Jean Paul Gaultier's Le Male which cost me exactly one pound, and now resides in my friend Jacks house. It sits perilously close to his fridge-top spirits and I worry that one day I will come round and someone will pour it into a cocktail. I probably wouldn't notice.